As a child we all heard the saying Sticks and Stones may break my Bones but words can never hurt me... Well maybe... just maybe this sentiment should be shared with doctors.
So when we started on our IVF journey we knew there would be ups and downs but little did I know I would be belittled and bruised about my weight.... So here is a bit of the journey so far regarding what to expect when you are trying for a baby...
The realities of wanting it all.
We all know in this day and age us strong independent women can have it all, right? or at least that's what I was led to believe with series like Sex and the City...
I spent the better part of 10 years studying and bettering myself to move into a field of work that was fulfilling and along with that, I had taken the decision to start a business of my own and truly live what the spice girls were squalking about... you know. Girl Power!
What I failed to realise is along with the relentless pursuit of trying to get a business off the ground there is a whole range of things that we as women are still expected to do! Mr's work shirt not washed, my fault, the house not clean, my fault and the no small feat that is caring the for menagerie we have accumulated at home! Two dogs, Two cats, 7 chickens and a rabbit all take some cleaning, feeding and caring!
What seems to have happened over the past 10 to 15 years is weight has slowly increased. I didn't wake up one day and thought wow where did this come from!? I've known for a long time I needed to get it under control but hey, I'm only human right? And there's always something else that seems to take priority so the weight always came secondary.
Not only that but when you are married to a feeder who loves to cook of course I'm going to gain weight!!
NHS Doctors Need Manners.
I feel like I have tried to maintain a constructive balance in this journey between our experiences with the NHS and private practice and this is an area where I will not hold any punches. Because they hurt me so I feel no shame in being critical.
When I first started attending the meetings through the NHS, they were quick to shame me.
So, Mrs Sharp... How much do you weigh?
Erm... (Insert number here) as Women never tell and Men never ask... This is the bit I will keep to myself thankyou very much!
So I shared this magic number with my doctors and instantly felt the loudest silence of my life. Well we will need to work on that...
Oh WOW Thank you so much doctor... without even examining me we have come to the solution I can't have children because I'm fat. Thanks for that one...
Every step of the way, throughout every investigation, every consultation I have felt the constant judging of these doctors who have made me feel like if I just lost some weight and got my BMI down, our pregnancy problems would be solved! Regardless of the other issues that are going on which require medical intervention.
The contrast of private treatment
When we started the journey with the private clinic, once again the service was totally different. Maybe it was just me, being prepared, having my guard up but they were courteous to me, explained that the weight is an issue and actually explained the reasons why! This was so refreshing and empowering. Rather than feeling like a school child getting bullied in the playground as my mother in law would say for being a fat fat (apparently her nickname at school) they explained the complications which can arise from having the excess weight and why it is important to try and get it down. They explained that the treatment I will be on will increase my weight so that is another reason why it would be better to lose some. They set realistic expectations in terms of what was required and have constantly been checking up always showing support along the way! I'm not naive enough to believe their extra support and checking in isnt part of their sales process to try and get more clients booked in but the level of compassion is truly night and day!
The Solution
This blog about my weight loss journey with my IVF treatment is quite well timed as I'm sure a few people will have seen mine and Dave's posts of us starting to run together to raise money for charity.
So firstly, when it comes to weight loss... I hate the gym. Not the gym as such but the business of it. I can never get on the machines I want to and in turn I lose motivation to continue and end up not bothering and like so many of us after a few weeks, we fall back in to bad habits of not going. So we decided to start jogging together as it gets us outdoors and we have an event we can train for which will help! I hate every minute of it but I can feel the improvement every day. We have improved our diets and are gradually making progress to get down to the desired weight!
Not much more to go until we can start the treatment plan with the private clinic however through the NHS we are still waiting for tests so only time will tell which comes first!
Watch this space to see how the weight loss comes along...
A huge congratulations to a reader!!
Since we started this blog, the amount of people reaching out and just generally talking about things has been amazing.
Dave has told me of somebody reaching out to him to say they have managed to conceive through IVF and are on their own journey expecting a baby!
We appreciate that we have no right to share any of this information but also understand our friendship group is wide and readers of this blog wider so with that said from both of us and I'm sure everybody else following this journey we all wish you a huge CONGRATULATIONS! xx