How my IVF journey started, the challenges and where we are at so far!
Hi guys,
I'm Leanne and I operate Serenity Osteopathy as the Principle Osteopath.
In my line of work I always encourage people to be open and honest about what they are dealing with and how it is affecting them regardless of how embarrassing or uncomfortable it makes them. So I thought what better way than to lead by example and do as I say!
For those of you that follow me on Social Media, you may have seen some of my posts starting to come out about the fact that me and my husband have started to go through our own IVF Journey and I thought I would share this journey as a blog to hopefully help others along the way.
Who are we?
Before I started studying to become an Osteopath, I worked at Morrisons. This is where I met Dave, my now husband, at the age of 18 and we started dating when we turned 19. Initially things moved really quickly with us and we moved in together within a few months and within what felt like no time we bought our own house together which at 20 was a huge milestone! Of course what happens from here is every family member starts to ask the obvious questions... So... When are you both getting married then? Not yet Aunty we have too much going on and so on which most of them accepted as they knew I was studying and Dave was working which left very little time or money to organise a wedding!
After around 10 years together when I had finished studying we finally set the date to get married and did so in 2019 but of course this then leads to the next round of questioning...
Every BBQ, every time you see a friend for the first time in 10 years, when you go to any family event - "You've been together a long time! Kids on the cards yet?" And for anybody who is going through the challenges of having children they will know the instant dread of how do you respond?
No, it turns out I can't have them and I can think of nothing better than sitting down with you over a glass of Malibu and explaining the deepest intricate doubts and insecurities I have about not being able to conceive a child when I haven't seen you in so long and I truly want to share more of this with you than I am my own doctor! But no... we are British after all so WE have to be the ones who are polite regardless of how inappropriate YOUR questioning is...
Alas, one of the textbook scripts comes out... we don't have the time, we are super busy with work, we like going out, we don't have the money, we like going away with no ties and all the other excuses that have become so scripted I feel like I could win an Oscar for my acting abilities.
The Talk
After a few years of not being able to conceive naturally we sat down and discussed with each other the realities of what our next steps were. Did we adopt? Did we look to foster, do we go through the NHS or do we see what options there are privately and where the hell do we begin with it all!?
So, we get the kettle on & make a cup of tea, as this obviously makes things better anyway, and we start talking. Getting ourselves checked out needed to be the first port of call to see if there was anything underlying. We did speak about other options as well. What if we were just knackered and it would never happen?? Dave seemed quite open to the option of adopting. I was less enthusiastic about it. If I wanted a child I want to experience the whole journey. I had spoken to someone I knew about adoption as they were looking into that route. They didn't have the best experience and were told they wouldn't be allowed to get another cat if they adopted! I will always have fur babies whether I have a kid or not & having heard their story it put me off the possibility of adoption even more. I wasn't too keen on fostering either as it seems too limiting, however this is something I have never looked into that much.
Our Struggling National Health Service
Going for investigations seemed like the most sensible option to start with. My periods have always been irregular so trying to get those in order would probably help. Getting through to the GP can be a nightmare for some people, even more so since COVID! However, I have been quite lucky at getting through and managed to get an appointment within a few days. After having a chat with the GP he referred me for some blood tests & an internal & external ultrasound scan & Dave had to do a semen analysis. This is when they diagnosed me with having polycystic ovaries (but not the syndrome), adenomyosis, & having a blood issue where if Dave had the same gene then any child we have could be anaemic. When I was on the phone to the GP and he was telling me all this it felt as though he didn't have time to answer any questions that I had or really what to expect next which I 100% appreciate isn't their fault but the limitations in capacity for them to deal with so many clients but regardless I felt lost and frustrated by the lack of empathy towards the situation and no clear path as to the next steps!
After taking a minute and deciding we needed to do some more research and get a better understanding we knew we needed to talk to the specialist again after digesting what they had said and making a note of what we needed to know. I left this in the hands of Dave to make the call to get a guide on what our options are. But no... In the world of absolute craziness we live in we found that the GP could or at least would discuss Dave's results with me but then when he tried to call them they weren't able to tell him anything! So more delays finding time for us to make the call together to ensure we could both answer any security questions or any other information they needed to prevent any further delays.
When we made this call it turned out they also wanted me to go for a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) which is an X-ray that is used to view the inside of the uterus & fallopian tubes. This my friends, was not the most pleasant experience I have had. The actual procedure wasn't too bad but afterwards the 'little bit of discomfort' was horrendous cramping and felt like I had something trying to claw its way out of me. The next day things were pretty much back to normal. After this was done and the results came through I had another phone call with the GP. They now wanted to send me for a laparoscopy which would be a minimum of 18 months wait.
The Friendly Guilt
This was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted a plan in place so I knew what was going on and wanted to know that things were moving in the right direction. Now I was just waiting for something that felt a lifetime away. This got me a bit down. Why couldn't I just be normal? I have the right parts so why aren't they working? At the time it seemed as though everyone I knew was getting pregnant and you just have to put on a brave face. Even though I was so happy for them I also felt a bit resentful. I didn't want to feel like that especially when your friends are so happy but I couldn't help it.
Private Fertility Clinic
After this I looked more into private care and decided this was something to explore further. I had another chat with Dave and then got in touch with the clinic. This experience was so different! The clinic was lovely, the staff there took the time and seemed to listen more and fully explained the process, the options available and gave a timeline on roughly how long things should take. As we were starting again, I had more blood tests, another internal ultrasound and Dave had to do another semen analysis. I think he definitely had the easier option!! No one is routing around with his bits and pieces other than himself! After the results came back the consultant was on the phone to us for over an hour!! He fully explained everything, what the options are and what to do moving forward. The staff have kept in touch to check where we are and one of the key things they suggested to help us was to start losing weight which they have regularly checked up on. We are now at the stage where I have lost nearly enough weight for treatment to start.
For us, probably more for me, I now have more hope and don't feel like my body is completely incapable of doing what it is designed to.
More to follow!!!